The Patterns

— Seven Patterns

The seven patterns

For senior leaders who suspect the thing driving them is also the thing holding them in place.

Seven patterns. Each one a brilliant adaptation — a strategy that solved something real, early, and well. So well that it became invisible. So invisible that it started running you.

The pattern is how it looks from outside. Underneath each one sit a few of twelve beliefs — the actual machinery. And each belief has a book that sits with it.

The question isn't which one you are. It's which one is running you.

Pattern 01

The Striver

Worth measured in output. Can’t stop, even when stopping is the work.

Worth-is-Output

Guilty when you stop, settled when you’re moving, restless when you rest.

Evaluation-is-Verdict

Critical notes stay for days; praise doesn’t stick.

Performance-Protects

Slowing down feels dangerous, not just inefficient.

Pattern 02

The Devoted

Approval as oxygen. Keeps the peace at the price of what needs saying.

Approval-is-Survival

Being liked feels necessary, even when being direct would serve the work better.

Conflict-Destroys-Relationships

Direct disagreement feels like damage rather than contact.

Pattern 03

The Protector

Armor on, always. Control and composure standing guard over something older.

Control-Equals-Safety

The grip feels like responsibility; underneath, it’s something older.

Conflict-Destroys-Relationships

Direct disagreement feels like damage rather than contact.

Vulnerability-Equals-Weakness

Being seen without the armor feels dangerous.

Pattern 04

The Performer

The audition never ends. Every evaluation a verdict, every standard a shield.

Identity-is-Expertise

When you’re not the expert in the room, something in you gets smaller.

Evaluation-is-Verdict

Critical notes stay for days; praise doesn’t stick.

Performance-Protects

Slowing down feels dangerous, not just inefficient.

Perfectionism-is-Protection

Small mistakes feel dangerous. The standard won’t come down.

Pattern 05

The Fixer

If it’s broken, it’s yours. Rescue as reflex, delegation as loss.

Relationships-are-Inefficient

You’d rather solve it alone than work through the people needed to solve it.

Perfectionism-is-Protection

Small mistakes feel dangerous. The standard won’t come down.

Pattern 06

The Conductor

Holds every thread. The orchestra only plays when they’re conducting.

Control-Equals-Safety

The grip feels like responsibility; underneath, it’s something older.

Relationships-are-Inefficient

You’d rather solve it alone than work through the people needed to solve it.

Pattern 07

The Strategist

The one who knows. Not-knowing feels like failure, so knowing never rests.

Identity-is-Expertise

When you’re not the expert in the room, something in you gets smaller.

Not-Knowing-is-Failure

Not having an answer feels like exposure, so you over-prepare.

Self-Advocacy-is-Wrong

Your work should speak for itself — and somehow nobody is listening.

What's underneath

The seven are doors, not boxes. Underneath them sit sixty-two smaller structures — recurring shapes of limiting belief, drawn from real client patterns, not invented. Nobody runs one alone. The Peace Tax arrives braided with the Iron Grip; the Belonging Tax runs on the Proving Engine. What looks like a type is a blend — and the blend is the person's actual situation, not the label.

The patterns name the family resemblance. The work is with the braid.

One book sits across all seven: The Leadership Games — the patterns as they play out between you and everyone else. And the writing goes deeper on each: start with the hub essay.